Finding Joy In The Ordinary Life

If you really go to see, life is mostly originally about cooking food, eating, doing our daily chores, sleeping and working in order to be able to fill our stomachs and have a shelter over our heads. 

Most part of our lives is spent in cooking and eating because that’s how we survive. And so there’s breakfast, lunch and dinner. There’s deciding and planning on what to prepare for these three meals. 

Then there are all the daily chores like washing the dishes, the clothes, cleaning the house etc to maintain ourselves and our surroundings. 

And then half of our lives we have an inevitable need to sleep. 

Now I wonder, if all these things are indispensable in order to survive and take up most part of our lives, then how come we only focus on finding happiness in big things that take up only a small portion of our lives. 

Wouldn’t it make more sense to first find joy in doing things that are a regular part of our lives. Then we’d get an opportunity to be content every single day. 

If we could carry out these daily chores fully and happily, being grateful that these are the things that help us survive well, joy will be available to us everyday. It won’t come after long intervals only when something great happens to us. Contentment will be a part of us if we allowed for the most simple things to make us happy. 

I don’t know whether living a certain way is right or wrong. There is no right or wrong way. I just think, if we could be joyful while doing the simple things, we would find satisfaction majority of the times and doing other things would simply be a choice for more enjoyment. 

It would definitely not come out of a dissatisfaction from having a regular life. 

If You Do Not Want Suffering Then Think Twice Before Inflicting It Upon Others

It is very simple.

Be with others as you want others to be with you. Do you want people to be kind to you? Then be kind to others.

Ask yourself. Are you unintentionally inflicting pain upon any other human being, animal or nature in general?

If you are, then you can’t expect life to shower its blessings upon you.

Think about your lifestyle, your food habits and your way of living in general.

Are you hurting another living being in this process?

If you are, then reflect upon whether you would like to be treated in the same way.

Try to reduce the amount of suffering you inflict onto the world, be it through the food you eat, the things you buy, the way you commute or for that matter simply through the way you exist on this planet.

Because trust me, if you want your life to be peaceful and happy, you can’t get away with doing bad and still expect life to be great to you.

You have to first give what you’d like to receive.

Life Is Too Short Only When You’re Living Unconsciously

I have noticed that my fears about the future or fears about how short life can be, come up only when I’m disconnected with myself. I have believed for a long time that one should live in a state of urgency because life could end just like that.

But at times, this state of urgency brings up a lot of fear, un-settlement and pressure. I find myself constantly thinking about how I have just few days to live and how i need to make the most of my time here.

And so, I feel dissatisfied about whatever is happening in this moment because I’m not necessarily having the time of my life every single day.

I feel more and more concerned when things aren’t at their best, because I’ve convinced myself that i want to live in the most exciting way possible, as “life is too short”.

But I found that only when I am living in my mind and not in my body, do I feel a lack of time. Only when I am living unconsciously, do I fear that life is short.

On the contrary, when I am completely in touch with the moment and my inner feelings, when I am fully aware of my surroundings, outer and inner, every moment seems to be eternal.

I lose all my fear.

Because when I am fully present to all the details of this moment, life seems long and fulfilling. When I tap into that space of awareness, life feels eternal. It is eternal.

Then I feel satisfied with whatever is happening, because life is at its best in each moment we’re living, it’s only a matter of recognizing it.

Spread The Goodness When You Can

There’s so much bad out there in the world already and a lot of times we ourselves are going through our own troubles.

But when we’re not, and everything feels good, tap into this goodness and share it with the world. It needs your love more than anything else.

People need your love. They need to feel cared for, just like you need to feel cared for.It can change their lives. One look into the eyes and a genuine ‘Thank you’ can change people’s lives.

Its Okay To Not Be Incredible

What if there was nothing that excited you anymore? Nothing that you wanted so badly in your life that could keep you awake every night? What if it was okay to not have a strong urge, a desire, an aim or a goal in life?

They’re saying this everywhere and I’ve said it too before , ‘find your passion’, ‘do what you love’, ‘do what you’ve always wanted to do’. But what if you did not want anything from your life at this point and time.

What if what you most wanted these days was to just be in bed and not be out of your comfort zone?

These days there’s not much I really want to do or achieve and I’ve hated myself long enough for not feeling as passionate, determined or motivated as everyone around me seems to feel.

Does this mean there’s something wrong with me?

I don’t think so. I don’t think that I need to do incredible things to be incredible.

I think the most fulfilling life for me would be when I can be my most authentic self. And it is not necessary that my most authentic self would be a happy person every time.

No one in this world can be their greatest selves at all times.

If I’m sad, then I’m sad. The least I can do is be true to myself.

I can’t pretend to be something I’m not. And right now, I know I’m not the most awesome person out there.

And it’s okay.

There are times you will be at your worst and these are the times you need to just

— let yourself be—

and still love yourself anyway.

What If You Were Taken For Granted? 

Maybe ask this question to yourself. Would you continue to give all you have,  endlessly,  to a person who is constantly complaining,  being ungrateful and who takes you for granted ? 

If you were a Saint probably you would not mind such a behavior, but if you were for real, I’m sure it would bum you out for not being appreciated when you give with all your love. 

It’s okay if you’re not constantly being appreciated but if you’re always taken for granted,  at some point in your life,  you will withdraw and have second thoughts of giving to that person because of how ungrateful he or she has been to you. 

Now imagine the universe to be a human being. Imagine what the universe must be going through when it gives us unconditionally and we never really take out the time to acknowledge the amazing things it does for us in our every day lives.

It must be frustrating for the universe that despite of the constant gifts it provides us with every single day, we still take it for granted and have no courtesy to appreciate or be grateful towards it . 

And just as a regular human being would withdraw from doing good to someone who’s extremely ungrateful, so would the universe withdraw from the same after a certain point. 

We can consider that the universe must be having some feelings too. If we don’t acknowledge these feelings and if we don’t let the universe know that we really do appreciate all the good things it does for us, it will stop the flow of all those good things in our life. 

Because no matter how much of abundance or unconditional love the universe has, it definitely must be frustrating to keep giving to someone who doesn’t really value you and doesn’t acknowledge the efforts you are taking. 

We need to value what the universe is doing for us. It is literally keeping us alive. And so I think it should be our priority to stop taking things for granted and to love our lives a bit more. 

I’m sure this would make the universe feel a lot better about the amazingly awesome things it does for us.

Give this a serious thought. It would be a good idea to be a little more grateful. 

This Pointless Life

This is simply a vent out from one of those days of frustration, when no matter how many lessons you’ve learnt about life, there will always be a time when you just wouldn’t understand what meaning this existence holds.

What does this freak’n life mean?

A deeply grounded pain beneath, about questions, those ridiculous ones

‘Who am I?  What do I mean? ‘

These days every morning I wake up asking myself,

‘ What for? Do I need this anymore? ‘

But the day is anyway shoved up my ass

And for no reason at all it seems, I have to get up, cook food and eat

And do the daily chores that mean NO SHIT AT ALL

What purpose do we serve?

And I know the replies that I would get. The philosophical bullshit everyone gets.

‘Count your blessings, find your passion,  do what you love’

Bloody. Yes I KNOW.

This life is a complete joke!

No one gets out alive and there is no prize. There is no meaning and yet there’s nowhere to hide.

No,  you won’t get to a heaven or a hell, what lies beyond no one can tell.

All I can say about this freakishly pointless life is that,  I have no choice,  this is my life.

And atleast if I had a spare one or two,  I could have explored my options, could’ve walked more than one pair of shoes.

But my life is defined and this is the only one I get. What I do and who I become, my story is already set.

And who cares of what my story really is? Who dares to die besides me, how long will I be missed?

Not longer than a few weeks or months or even a few years. No more would there be too many tears.

What purpose did my life serve?

What meaning did I learn?

I played a character in this game of life and no longer needed the character will die.

GAME OVER in block letters will flash on the screen.

And probably this is all what my life would mean.

PS : Once again,  I’m not being a pessimist.

Timelessness : Where Lies True Fulfillment

The past year has been the most crucial one of my life where I went through bouts of depression and healing simultaneously. I realised that the way to peace isn’t a straight road and when you take two steps forward you also fall back a step each time.

A few months back I decided to travel to Himachal for two months in order to face myself and spend time alone during some emotionally tough times. In the city I would have random outbursts every few days and I couldn’t find answers for the deep pain I was experiencing.

I went with an intention of finding love within myself and that is exactly what I found. I came across magical ,life altering events where I was given free food by Tibetan women on the road, 500 dollars by an old man from new zealand and free massages by a professional(i accepted an offer to be a ‘model body’ for a massage student for almost 15days).

These are just few of the many magical incidences i came across. I came to find this unwavering faith which gave me a unique confidence. I felt rested in my own body, comfortable in my skin , my energy was flowing freely again and I was healing.

Ten days of Vipassana meditation after that brought out a lot of pain , which I dealt with , with equanimity. My perspective on everything had changed on a much deeper level than I could believe.

When I got back home after two months ,things felt different, everything seemed unreal. The people, the city, i couldn’t relate to the vibes or connect with anything or anybody. I felt gloomy each morning and mostly lied on the bed all day long. Slowly i got addicted to junk food and couldn’t keep away from it. The plans i had come back with, of practising yoga and meditation, fell apart. I saw myself falling back into a deeper dark pit. This time it seemed like it wasn’t going to end soon.

I sent mails to the friends i had made during my travel. Some of them told me that this post travel depression is natural and it’s okay , some told me to notice the good things in everyday. Everything seemed to work for the moment and then again I would lose myself in a kind of misery.

But then , one day , when I just couldn’t meditate , i decided to get up and go for a walk.

I walked a few kilometers that day by the traffic. But I didn’t ‘just’ walk. I made it a point to feel my entire body as I walked, to feel the atmosphere on my skin. Something I had learnt from Vipassana meditation.

As I kept walking and could feel the breeze on my hands ,my face , i had started to feel sensations inside my body too. The strange part was that when my awareness became sharper inside ,  my vision outside became even more vibrant. I started to see things more clearly. It was as though my body was perfectly dwelling in this exact moment.

I couldn’t feel ‘Time’ , it was as though i had come into this realm which had no time in it. Just a space that rests. I felt transformed.

I started walking everyday and began my yoga practise in the same way. Feeling my entire body and being aware of every sensation.

I was slowly coming out of the gloominess and rising into bliss.

Slowly this state of mind didn’t limit itself to yoga and walking but to many other things I was doing , like daily chores.

Whenever I found myself in this timeless realm , no matter the work i would do, i felt absolutely fulfilled. I felt rested and at peace as though this is exactly what I am meant to do. Be it cleaning toilets or preparing food. It felt like the moment is enough in itself. That I don’t have to be anywhere else but here. THIS is the purpose of my life.

This revelation brought in a sense of immense fulfillment in the smallest of acts. I stopped thinking about a year from now, or a few months or even tomorrow for that matter.

All sense of worry was lost. When a fear crept in, i watched the sensations and then it was gone. And in this state of mind , thoughts effortlessly moved away.

And so I realised through these experiences , that every act feels sufficient and enough in itself when done fully, feeling your body, your insides and naturally thoughtless ,your outsides.

I realised that our minds currently dwell in TIME but really, our true life resides in TIMELESSNESS.

This state or space, that requires us to completely dive and swim in this moment by feeling our body, brings in a deep seated fulfillent.

May this fulfillment be experienced by all.

 

 

What I Learnt When I Came Back Home

This is a note for myself.

Planning your next trip is a sign of escaping. You are not back home to escape from it. You realize a lot of things after coming back from a long travel, you have changed but home has remained the same all this while. And now you feel like you no more fit in this world. Now, this isn’t your comfort zone anymore.

I read an article about post travel depression in which the writer mentioned “this is why the road belongs to us and travel is the way.” But I realize that this is just constantly escaping to some place else, whereas the real life and it’s challenges are right here.

Instead of planning your next trip to heaven, you must embrace where you are and face it’s everyday challenges by simply observing. Observe it objectively as though you are not a part of the movie but simply a spectator.

I can’t be some place else always, and I don’t choose to be either. I decide to embrace where I am and observe my insides. This is the only moment that has value, not the past that holds our dear memories or the future that promises new travels.

The reason for this one and a half month long travel was to experience and then come back and apply this self-transformation in daily life and not crave for this experience again and again. Then the point is lost. The growth I have been through has to continue and be applied, only then does this month serve it’s purpose and only then have I grown.

Home is no more home, it is simply a test of your growth and understanding.

When the pressure of daily routine begins is when the adventure really begins. The adventure outside in an unknown place is a rather easy one and it is much simpler to be yourself there where no-one knows you. The truth of the universe manifests itself in you naturally, just to show you a glimpse of the magic that exists in this life. You discover amazing experiences when you travel and when you are back home you think that they have gone and that they were only meant to be present while you were away from everyone and everything. But the secret is, it could be available at all times.

The wisdom you earned through travel is always just a glimpse of a state of mind that exists and you can tap into it. The point is lost if you only keep craving for these experiences rather than applying the wisdom you’ve received through them. Because when you are home and you see that nothing has changed, you only feel that the road is meant for you. That you are only meant to travel because the magic lies there. But you’re wrong. Travel will show you a glimpse of the magic that you have available in your everyday life.

The path is tough. To find magic at home is the true challenge that has to be faced. When there are daily arguments and the days are filled with being busy doing this and that, is the midst in which you need to start observing. In the midst of chaos lies eternal peace. It is hidden right where you’d expect it not to.

If you could tap into that peace, then it wouldn’t matter where you’d grow, because your growth would continue no matter where you remained. Home and it’s people become part of this game to help you grow further, not by their insights but by the challenges they throw at you that you simply need to observe without judgment.

It is very easy to live peacefully when you are away from everything. But home is a place where ego will truly dissolve. If you can be your natural true self at home, then you’ve achieved it all.

Observe and try not losing it and even if you do, then come back and observe once again, and keep going.

I’m depressed 

This life is stupid. It’s freaking stupid. Do you see any point of this? If we had to die, why did we come here at the first place? Why go through the immense suffering of losing dear ones, why go through the pain of heartbreak, why achieve things or have any dreams when it’s all going to vanish? We’re all going to vanish. 

At times I think of the games that can be played on us by nature. It could easily kill your sister or brother, your mother or father in an accident. There’s no guarantee any of us our safe. Somehow it now depresses me, I don’t want to let go of my family. What would I do? How would I handle the suffering? And why is all of it necessary? 

These days as I go to work everyday,  a thought crosses my mind. Who am I going out there in my day to please? These are a bunch of idiots in this stupid theatre play of life who are all living temporarily on this planet and so am I. Why should I behave so constricted, limited, as though my death depends on them? 

How come I sit in sophistication in front of them when my mind really is mad? 

It depresses me that there is no point to all this, that we’re born, we do certain things, we grow and shit and then we die. 

And the whole of life is spent in behaving under the society’s code of conduct. 

You should brush your teeth twice, shake hands with people this way, smile at asshole superiors being rude to you, maintain cordial relations with annoying colleagues. 

Why? 

Why are we putting up a fake face in this freakishly small, stupid, bizzare, crazy idea of life? 

It depresses me that we don’t express ourselves enough. I’m scared of the fact that I could lose my family any day in this life and I don’t know when. I’m not prepared. 

I’m depressed that I don’t see a point of achieving things, of having big dreams and goals, because they make you focus on the future, while life only exists in the present. 

I’m depressed about not knowing what lies ahead. Afraid that I don’t mean much at the end of the day. Horrified to live my sufferings and angry at myself for having lived under society’s code of conduct. 

I am in a dark place, but I know it’s temporary, after all the whole of life is designed to be temporary. There is nothing that is permanent and I am slowly trying to cope up with that. 

I’m coping up with this uncertain, short period of time we’ve been given. I’m trying to live it as well as I can, as honest as I can. I think that is the only way I could do some justice to myself. If I lived honest, said what I meant, behaved how I felt I should and wished to, at least I would regret lesser things. 

If I let myself completely feel what I am feeling, at least I’d do justice to that feeling and let it live for the time it has. I’ll let myself be depressed and let it live for as long as it wants to. 

Doing this would mean being true to myself, rather than faking and wasting these few precious moment that are left. 

I still don’t get what the point of this life is, but at least I know I need to be what I am. 

And so should you.